Jenny Simon Returns
by Shadowgate
Summary: What if Jenny Simon could get even for what Eric Cartman did to her?


Jenny Simon Returns

By Shadowgate

…

A/N: If you've not read Principal Victoria Hung Herself and my Let us Study Vietnam two part series you should do that first.

…..

It was a dark and stormy night. Terrance Mephisto along with his two henchmen were in his dad's big lab were working on the biggest project they could ever possibly work on. They had the body of Jenny Simon just after she committed suicide.

THE GOAL

Repair the damage done to her throat since she committed suicide by cutting her own throat.

Restart the nervous system to get her brain functioning again with full thinking processes. They believed they had a good chance since she'd not been dead for long and the brain was no where near decomposed.

Restart the heart and get blood flowing to the lungs of course.

Have her stand up to Cartman and thus Terrance could leave Kyle in shock that he brought someone back from the dead. Terrance would beat his rival in a science contest and make up for the loss back in third grade.

Terrance said "Okay let's get this poor little girl's heart beating."

Fossy administered an injection of a high powered formula and soon they heard Jenny's heart beating on a monitor with amplified it. They looked at the EKG line and they were thrilled.

Bill and Fossy began jacking off to the beat of her heart.

Terrance pointed out "you two naughty boys always loved playing doctor with girls."

The boys giggle and Doctor Mephisto comes out to comment.

"You three have nothing better to do than try to get even with Cartman and his friends do you? I guess you think you can really get to Kyle by driving his fat friend crazy."

Terrance stands up to his dad and says "yes dad I think I can and when Kyle sees I've revived a human being he'll go home and cry to his mommy. Furthermore this is a good thing for science especially compared to that of making monkeys with more than one ass. Come on dad you love to make monkeys with more than one ass but deep down I'll bet you feel like a donkey for doing it."

All three boys say in unison "JACKASS"

Doctor Mephisto grabbed a strap off the wall and strapped all three boys.

After they were strapped they continued on with their work. At 1AM Jenny Simon was up off the table breathing and with her eyes wide open. The three boys had to sit her down and tutor her about her life and recent events before she committed suicide. By 8AM she was glad to be back alive and she was ready to confront the one who caused her to shit herself in class and cause her such embarrassment that she took her own life. She was glad to have a second chance.

Terrance and his two sidekicks were in Mister Garrison's class giggling and they knew it was only a matter of time before they saw a look of great shock on the faces of many students but particularly Kyle.

Mister Garrison stood up by his desk and said "okay class today we're going to talk about Romeo and Juliet."

Stan and Wendy turn and flirt with each other upon hearing of the daily subject.

Terrance smiled bigger when he thought of his plan being exposed to Kyle.

At lunch time Terrance stopped Kyle and said "well my old nemesis I got a surprise for you."

Kyle is irritated and says "are you going to show me your baby booties?"

Terrance exclaimed "no dipshit! Let's just say after you see what I've done you'll be on your knees calling me the master of science."

Kyle decides it's time for a passionate speech toward his enemy.

"You are a master of evil Terrance. The clone that was created in your dad's lab did major destruction and you wanted to claim as your own. I would like to see science go far and one day science will make the blind see and cripples walk. Perhaps science could alter your brain structure to where you'd be a productive human being."

Terrance points out "you got that from American Ninja 2."

Kyle states "Michael Dudikoff kicks ass!"

The boys laugh and head to the cafeteria.

As Stan and Kyle eat lunch Cartman hustles up to them.

"You guys, you guys, I saw her."

Kyle asks "who'd you see, your mom naked with a dildo between her legs?"

Stan and Kenny laugh so loud milk comes out of their noses.

Cartman replies "no Goddamn it I saw Jenny Simon."

Kyle says "Cartman you're a fucking stupid loser. Jenny Simon killed herself because she was so humiliated from shitting her pants in front of all of us. You laced that cupcake with laxatives. She trusted you and you set her up for horrible humiliation. She killed herself and I hope the pain of her death weighs heavy on your heart Cartman."

Cartman keeps insisting he actually saw her and that she is alive. Stan finally said "shut the fuck up!"

At recess Stan and Wendy were behind a tree.

Wendy said "here let's take your jacket off I'll do that neck biting that gives you the chills you love."

Stan says "yeah" and gets really frisky.

Stan takes off his jacket and pushes down the back of his collarless t-shirt. Wendy pushes his hair aside to expose the back of his neck fully and then she moves in kissing his neck slowly.

Stan says "good."

Stan breathes in slow and deep as he continues to feel Wendy's lips on his neck.

Wendy whispers into his ear "now I'm going to bite into your neck like a female vampire going in for the kill."

She starts kissing his neck faster and Stan practically falls into a trance. He soon feels her teeth gently sink in and the chills go up and down his spine.

Stan says "yes Wendy do it to me baby."

Wendy grabs Stan in a tight bear hug and bites his neck hard. Stan holds his breath as long as he can and feels a great moment of ecstasy.

After about five minutes the two of them stop because Kyle is screaming.

"Stan you have to come quick this is fucking major."

Stan says "shit what is it?"

Kyle explains that Cartman is convulsing in the nurse's office. Wendy is very pissed off but still goes on to ask Kyle what happened. Kyle explained that he had a nervous breakdown.

Stan yelled "well if it's over Jenny Simon then good he should feel horrible for what he fucking did to her."

Kyle tells them to come to the nurse's office.

When they get there they see Kenny and they look over to see Cartman lying on a bed.

Stan asks Kenny "what the hell happened?"

Kenny explains that Cartman continues to insist he sees Jenny Simon.

Kyle yells out "CARTMAN HAS FINALLY LOST IT! HE'S HAD MENTAL PROBLEMS ALL HIS LIFE AND HE IS THE ONE WHO TRULY BELONGS IN THE SOUTH PARK MENTAL INSTITUTION."

The nurse threw all the kids out so she could attend to Cartman.

Kyle talks to Kenny in the hallway about the death of Jenny Simon.

"None of us have really taken time to mourn over Jenny Simon. Furthermore the body was taken by some nutcase so there's not even been a funeral. I think we should put up a big flyer stating will hold a meeting after school in a classroom where we can all talk about how we feel about losing Jenny as well as how we felt about having her as a fellow student."

Kenny says "that's a great idea."

Kenny gets in touch with Clyde and when he talks it over with Clyde and how Cartman set up Jenny Simon to shit in her pants.

Tears ran down Clyde's eyes and he agreed it was a good idea to do this.

When Kyle confronts Craig he gets an agreement in a snap. Butters sniffles and says "he'll be there" and before long the entire fourth grade with the exception of Terrance, Bill, Fossy, and the fat one himself all agreed to meet in Mister Garrison's class after school for an informal memorial.

At first Stan steps up to speak.

"We live in a world where many girls want to be fucking gangster and act like total snobs. Jenny Simon was different. She was sweet and she cared about her school work. You would never have caught her smoking crack in the Goddamn bathroom. Jenny Simon was a good person who cared about school. Sadly she trusted Cartman one day. One day Cartman offered her a cupcake laced with laxatives and after lunch she shit her pants right before our eyes. He did it to take the heat off Pete Melman. Well fortunately Pete Melman is back in school doing well. We may rip on him from time to time because he shit himself but he's not suicidal. Could one of us have visited her when she was under suicide watch and made a difference? Who the hell knows? The point is she's gone and we have one empty desk in our class forever more."

Stan nods his head and steps down. Kyle stands up in front of the class next to speak.

"I'm saddened that Jenny Simon was set up by someone whom I know to be a straight up sociopath. I'm saddened she went on to attempt suicide and then successfully commit suicide."

Tears run down Kyle's face.

"I hope that we can find her body and the sick bastard who took her body for whatever purpose he had in mind is thrown in prison for the rest of his miserable life. I've seen Jenny's parents off and on as I walk through South Park. I can't imagine the pain they're feeling. They were informed their daughter cut her own throat. Then when it was time for them to officially claim the body so they could have a funeral the body was missing and that's a double nightmare!

I do have some good news though. Eric Cartman is having visions of Jenny Simon. I don't know if maybe his conscience is getting to him, he might have a conscience. Well a small conscience but for the most part he's mostly a sociopath. If by chance he's actually seeing the ghost of Jenny Simon and I know that's far out but if he is then that's because Jenny Simon's work here is not finished and she cannot rest. The spirit of Jenny Simon could be punishing Eric Cartman."

All the kids in the room cheer loud and for a long time.

Kyle again points out "it's a possibility that ghosts are real and a ghost is screaming out for justice."

Kyle then states "at this time I will step down and let Wendy speak."

Wendy stands up and after wiping a pound of tears from her face she speaks.

"I knew Jenny Simon for quite sometime. She told me her goal in was to get an MBA and run her own business. She didn't even get past the fourth grade because someone so evil used her and caused her to shit her pants in order to distract everyone from the fact a third grade boy shit his pants. Oh it's all fucked up bullshit."

Wendy starts crying.

Stan asks "Wendy can you go on?"

Wendy takes in a deep breath and answers Stan affirmatively.

"I hold Cartman responsible for her death because he knowingly gave her a cupcake tainted with laxatives and laxatives are a drug. By law you cannot give someone a drug without their knowledge. The result of Cartman's actions, well you saw the results. She may as well have been raped. I say Cartman is guilty of negligent homicide."

The class cheers out loud.

Wendy says "that is all."

Bebe is up next and Clyde sees her with a ton of papers in her hand.

Clyde asked "you wrote your speech?"

Bebe nods yes and Clyde asks if he can proof read it. Bebe says "it's a bit late for that Clyde.

Clyde then wanted to know if she drew flowers on it since flowers are used to honor the dead and Bebe tells him to cut the bullshit.

Wendy jumps in and says "BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF THIS IS SERIOUS! CLYDE QUIT FLIRTING AND LET BEBE READ HER SPEECH!"

Clyde shakes and says "yes ma'am."

Bebe gets up to speak.

"Jenny Simon was kind and cared about other people. You just don't see that type of character much anymore. Now she is gone forever. Will Eric Cartman do prison time for this? Michael Jackson's doctor was convicted of involuntary manslaughter and got the maximum prison term of four years. I say that because Cartman gave her a tainted cupcake which led her to suffer humiliation so outrageous she felt suicide was the only way out. I think that if I were to crap my pants in front of you all I'd immediately have a heart attack and die within the hour. I'd love to see a judge send Cartman to prison for at least four years. No wait I'd love to see Cartman locked up for life. Do you all remember that hamburger stand he opened and he was shoving the burgers up his ass? This motherfucker should be locked up for life or shot. As I now look at the desk Jenny used to sit in and see it's empty I feel like a part of my heart is empty. I know I'll move on (pauses to wipe tears) but what can be done to prevent a future tragedy like this. First we had the suicide of Corey Duran and luckily Pete Melman didn't kill himself. I hear he's doing well. Oh but right now Jenny Simon was found dead because she killed herself and as of now her body is missing in action. I hope they recover the body soon so her parents can bury her and have peace. I also agree with Kyle I hope the guilt and the sightings Cartman is having drive him to a mental institute since it's so unlikely a judge will send him to a juvenile detention center for this. I had more to say but due to time limitations and the fact I can barely go on I'm going to turn this over to the next student whoever that may be."

Clyde steps up and he's crying. He wipes his face and begins his speech.

"You all know I'm a sensitive guy. (Smiles and wipes more tears) Well anyhow I really agree with what Bebe said about how hard it is to have class and Jenny Simon is no longer a part of the class. I remember when she was helping me with math homework and she's hit me over the head with her math book each time I got an answer wrong."

The class giggles.

Clyde goes on "she'd whack me and call me a retard oh but it was cute. Honestly I'm not that great at public speaking. I did a crappy job in the Thanksgiving play and I'm going to go ahead and turn it over to Red."

Red gets up in front of the class.

"I don't know where to begin."

Craig gets impatient and tells her to hurry up.

Red turns to Craig and says "you know Craig you can be a real bully sometimes and bullying has become a problem on a national scale."

Craig flips off Red and Red walks up to Craig and gets in his face.

"You will not flip me off mister."

Wendy yells "GO RED I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!"

Stan jumps in and tells them to break it up immediately because they're here for Jenny Simon and everything should be peaceful.

Craig is still angry but when Stan and Kyle got into his face he knew he couldn't overpower both of them.

He sat down and Red finished with her speech.

When Craig got up to speak he said "I must say school sure is different these days. I'll admit I agree with Bebe about the feeling of Jenny no longer being around. Honestly when I look at that empty desk I feel like there's a knife stuck in my guts."

Craig began to cry.

"I must say if I could hold my little sister right now and tell her that life is worth living I'd be so happy."

Everyone in the classroom has tears running down their faces.

Craig steps down and Kenny tells him "you should hug your sister when you get home Craig. You should tell her life is worth living because I hug my sister all the time and tell her to be glad she's alive."

Kenny and Craig hug.

As they file out of the classroom Craig pulls Red aside and says "Red I want to apologize for flipping you off and I really mean it."

Red gives Craig a gentle pat on the shoulder.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Kyle got a call on his cell phone from Jimmy. Jimmy told him he saw Jenny Simon walking out by Tom's Rhinoplasty.

Kyle immediately told him "you're fucking crazy."

In spite of calling Jimmy crazy Kyle decided to meet with Jimmy right outside Tom's Rhinoplasty.

"Jimmy I don't know what the fuck to say to you. I was glad when Cartman started hallucinating but now you are?"

Jimmy replied "Cartman may not be, Cartman may not be ahh."

Kyle gets irritated and says "Goddamn it Jimmy you stutter too much."

Then Kyle is suddenly embarrassed and says "Jimmy I'm really sorry for that I was totally out of line. If my mom was here she'd beat my ass for making fun of a disabled kid. Jimmy I'm really sorry."

Stan comes up to them "hey guys what's the big surprise you had for me?"

Kyle says "Jimmy thinks he saw Jenny Simon right around here about an hour ago."

Stan laughs and says "what?"

Before anything else was said someone angrily walked up to the three boys and said "well I heard about the after school meeting you all had. Oh such sweet words were said on behalf of Jenny Simon. Hey guess what dumb asses Jenny Simon is still alive."

Jimmy says "I know and I'm sorry for doubting you."

Kyle turns to Jimmy and says "JIMMY!"

Jimmy replied back "I SAW HER DAMN IT!"

Stan says "HEY LOOK IT'S HER!"

The boys are shocked to see Jenny Simon walking at the other end of the street. Her face is blue and she looks pissed off.

Cartman screams "YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY."

Cartman goes on to say "oh I guess I won't do four years in prison as an accessory to homicide like Michael Jackson's doctor."

Cartman finally asks "hey Stan do you want to strap me into Colorado's gas chamber now?"

Stan yells "CARTMAN SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Terrance Mephisto yells from a distance "HEY KYLE GUESS WHAT! I ALONG WITH MY TWO FAITHFUL ASSISTANTS BILL AND FOSSY BROUGHT JENNY SIMON BACK TO LIFE! WE TOOK HER BODY FROM THE HOSPITAL!"

Kyle turned with outrage upon his face.

Jenny Simon yelled "I HAVE A GUN!"

Everyone gets scared and then she gives a chilling confession.

"I got a gun because I met up with Mysterion just an hour ago. We had a chat and he was convinced I would work with him. He was going to bring me to show all of you I was alive. He was so happy to see me alive and that was his own downfall. I noticed he had a pistol on him and he said he took it from some bozo named Captain Hindsight and when he turned around I took the very knife I used to cut my own throat to cut his throat."

Stan says "Oh My God Jenny Simon killed Kenny."

Kyle replied "now that she's back from the dead she's like a bastard stepchild."

Terrance jumps in and says "all thanks to me."

Jenny Simon turns to Terrance and says "screw you" and shoots him in the stomach.

Bill and Fossy take off.

Eric Cartman walks up to Jenny Simon and says "I'm really sorry please don't kill me."

Jenny points the gun straight at Cartman's face and says "I'm going to shoot you between the eyes you son of a bitch."

Cartman drops to his knees and starts crying.

Wendy comes on the scene and yells "go on Jenny and kill the disturbed one."

Stan turns to Wendy and is shocked but he remembered all the horrible things Cartman has done throughout his life and that Cartman has killed people including his dad and stepfather.

Stan says "just kill him quick because he's a human being after all."

Cartman begins crying louder than ever and then Jenny Simon pulls the trigger and it clicks.

Jenny says "gotcha!"

Cartman says "OH MY GOD" and then he pisses and shits his pants.

Everyone yells "YUCK!" and Wendy captures it on her cell phone.

Kyle rushes to Terrance and says "hold still Terrance we'll get you an ambulance."

Terrance says "that bullet lacerated my liver and I'm not going to make it Kyle. Kyle please don't leave with me just stay with me in my final moments."

Terrance coughs and Kyle bends down.

Kyle insists "Terrance you can pull through this you douche bag now come on."

Terrance "Kyle no I'm dying now shut up and listen to me."

Terrance gives the final speech of his life.

"Kyle you were a respectable opponent. I brought Jenny Simon back to life because even knowing that she would seek revenge against Eric Cartman just the thought of you seeing that I brought her back to life would drive you fucking mad. Through Eric Cartman I could get to you which is ironic in itself. Also Lemmiwinks brother Wikileaks once lived in a cage in a first grade classroom. His name was Fred and I stole him from that cage and took him to my dad's lab. I turned him into the evil gossiping gerbil he became."

Kyle yelled "YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Terrance went on to say "I will be gone soon Kyle. You will likely grow up and get a PhD. Kenny always said he considered you the smartest kid in class."

Kyle cut him off and said "Terrance you were wise but you chose to be the diabolical type of genius and now it's clearly over for you. I feel your heart slowing Terrance."

Terrance says "Kyle" but Kyle cuts him off and says "just relax Terrance and close your eyes."

Kyle gives Terrance three pats on the shoulder and keeps his other hand on Terrance's heart.

"Relax Terrance and just close your eyes I want you to feel peaceful since this is the end of your life."

Terrance opened his eyes to and gave Kyle one big smile.

Five seconds later Kyle felt Terrance's heart stop.

Stan looked at Kyle and said "well looks like two bad kids got punished today."

Bill and Fossy approach and drop to their knees.

Stan says "well look who's fucking humble now."

Kyle and Stan laugh and then Kyle says "let's catch up to Jenny Simon."

Jenny Simon runs away but Stan and Kyle chase after her. They follow her for three blocks and chase her all the way up to the top of an abandoned building. When they get to the top Jenny pulls a knife and says "don't come any closer or I'll cut you."

Stan says "Jenny stop I know you've been through lots of pain but we want to help you."

Jenny says "I always knew Terrance was bad ever since third grade. I'm glad I killed him and it's ironic I did considering he brought me back to life using brain juice made from other corpses."

Stan replies "oh like in the movie Puppetmaster!"

Jenny nods and then she goes on to say "I got my revenge with Cartman and damn it was beautiful seeing him shit himself and cry like a baby."

Stan and Kyle yell "YES" and do a high five.

Jenny says "I can't go on living on other people's brains. Plus I killed your friend Kenny. He revealed himself to me and when I saw he had a gun I wanted it so I could scare the shit out of Cartman. I knew holding him at gun point would make him shit his pants. Kenny in his role as Mysterion was awesome and he served this community well. I don't deserve to live after I cut his throat and killing Terrance makes me guilty of double homicide."

Stan says "then go to the police and confess. You will be tried as an adult and they won't go easy on you."

Jenny reminds Stan that she will soon die without brain juice.

Kyle says "go ahead Jenny Simon and commit suicide once again. You know how incredible this is? You killed two people and you get the opportunity to commit suicide again. Talk about fully paying the price for a double homicide this works out great."

Jenny Simon looks at Stan and Kyle and says "goodbye you guys."

Tears flow down the two boy's faces and Jenny jumps off the building and breaks every bone in her body. Soon after Jenny Simon shits all over the place and the boys are disgusted.

Stan says "a major nightmare is over."

Kyle says "not necessarily do you want to clean Cartman's ass?"

Stan says "oh shit."

THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL

Mister Garrison lectures the class.

"Okay class we can learn a lesson from the piss poor worthless life of Eric Cartman. If you give people shit they'll come right back and mess with you. What goes around comes around. Wendy thank you for using your cell phone to record Eric shitting his pants so we could all have a laugh."

Everyone is laughing and Cartman is sitting in timeout crying and pondering suicide.

THE END


End file.
